Home

It was March 2010, it had been 5 months since Terry passed away, and the pain and shock was still so heavy and devastating. I was on my way home, driving the distance by myself for the very first time. It was a time when going home meant having to face the emptiness, it meant having to face the cold hard fact that he was gone...that I wouldn't see him in the yard, I wouldn't hear his laughter, I wouldn't be greeted by his smiling face...it was so hard. I was listening to a Christian radio station, and the song "In Christ Alone" was playing. It was a beautiful rendition, and I was singing along. 

Then it hit the very last verse:

"Til He returns, or calls me HOME."

There it was, the word "home". How my heart longed for it...for wholeness again, for fellowship again, for Him to finally wipe every tear from my eyes.

And I said to myself, "I would just love if that song Homesick would play by MercyMe...I just want to hear it right now, but that would never happen..."

There was some speaking before the next song, and I was pondering all this...and then suddenly...

I began to hear the instrumental introduction to that very song. Tears of joy and sadness just poured out. Joy because the beauty of just knowing that He had heard me, and what an expression of LOVE, COMFORT, UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION for my broken, aching, longing heart. And what an affirmation of His Promises, what an encouragement, what a blessing. It was so, so beautiful. And I just cried, because every word penetrated my heart and soul. The sadness, the pain, the sorrow, the brokenness, the aching, the longings...HOMESICK. Longing for Home. Longing for wholeness. Longing for Jesus. 

 ¹ How lovely is your dwelling place, 

   LORD Almighty! 

² My soul yearns, even faints, 

   for the courts of the LORD; 

my heart and my flesh cry out 

   for the living God. 

³ Even the sparrow has found a home, 

   and the swallow a nest for herself, 

   where she may have her young— 

a place near your altar, 

   LORD Almighty, my King and my God. 

⁴ Blessed are those who dwell in your house; 

   they are ever praising you.

 ⁵ Blessed are those whose strength is in you, 

   whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. 

⁶ As they pass through the Valley of Baka, 

   they make it a place of springs; 

   the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

⁷ They go from strength to strength, 

   till each appears before God in Zion.

 ⁸ Hear my prayer, LORD God Almighty; 

   listen to me, God of Jacob. 

⁹ Look on our shield, O God; 

   look with favor on your anointed one.

 ¹⁰ Better is one day in your courts 

   than a thousand elsewhere; 

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 

   than dwell in the tents of the wicked. 

¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield; 

   the LORD bestows favor and honor; 

no good thing does he withhold 

   from those whose walk is blameless.

 ¹² LORD Almighty, 

   blessed is the one who trusts in you.

-Psalm 84